Well, it's been a while since I have posted....a very long time, actually. Once summer school was over, the fall semester started up very quickly! My sorority had recruitment in our beautiful new house, football season began, and my senior year classes are already overwhelming me! It is crazy to me that it is already the middle of September. Time has been flying so fast, I have been having so much fun, and I know that it is going to be Christmas before I know it!
So I went to church on Sunday at Sacred Heart Cathedral, close to campus. The priest's homily gave me a lot of food for thought in terms of what is going on in my life right now, so I figured it would make a good blog post!
Recently, I feel as though I have been going through somewhat of a "quarter-life crisis". Yes, I realize I am only twenty-one. What could possibly be causing this "quarter-life crisis" I am referring to? What problems could I possibly have?
Well, here's number one: I am staring out at the horizon, looking at my glorious future...except the only problem is I lost my glasses, my contacts are old, and it's foggy outside so I can't see a dang thing. Each phase in life I have known where I would be going. After elementary school, I would go to middle school. After middle school, I would go to high school. After high school, I would join the family and attend the greatest university in the United States...the almighty University of Tennessee, in the glorious city of Knoxville...but I digress...
So here I am, a senior in college, and I am realizing that I have absolutely no idea what is going to happen. Where will I live? Where will my friends go? When will I get married? Where will I work? When will I have children? Are my best friends and I actually going to live on the same street, and will our children all be best friends, and will they marry each other one day so that we can all be in-laws like we have so earnestly planned....? It's all very stressful.
Yes, of course it is exciting! Part of me cannot wait to walk across that stage in May and accept my diploma and enter into the world of adulthood. But at the same time, it is absolutely horrifying...and the other part of me wants to run home and have my mom buy me a Halloween costume and eat my dad's chili before heading out for a night of trick-or-treating with my brothers and neighborhood friends. (I know that there are some T-Swift haters out there, but she knows exactly how I am feeling in her song "Twenty-Two". It's miserable and magical, oh yeah.)
Recently I have been seeing people who seem to have their futures unfolding...engagements, jobs, babies, you name it! And even though I am sure they are as overwhelmed as me, I can't help but sit here and wonder where I'll eventually fit.
So bringing it back to the homily from this past Sunday. He was talking about the "lost," and we read the Parable of the Prodigal Son. He discussed different ways of becoming "lost" from our faith. Sometimes we become so preoccupied with school work, studying for exams, group projects, boyfriends, friends, our jobs, sorority functions, football games, interviews, job fairs, worrying about our futures...everything that my life seems to be consisting of at this point. I have gotten so caught up in everything that I have had going on, that it has a left a void. I assume that if I can "just get that job," or "just get that dress," or "just go on that trip," that these things will fill that void and I will finally be happy. When in reality, what will fill my void is simply happiness in just "being". He said that we must try and fill that absence with our faith. After mass, I sat and thought about what the priest had said. I have thought more about it as the week has gone on, and after an awesome talk today with my best friend Lauren, I have finally figured out what I am going to do. Every day, I am going to try and fill this void with hope and faith. Hope and faith that my future will turn out how it is supposed to be. Hope and faith that everything will happen when it is supposed to, even though I am incredibly anxious. And hope and faith that my senior year will be a year that I cherish with my friends and family, one that I will look back on with no regrets, just happiness.
Don't you love it when stuff like that happens? It was like he was talking to me! I know that it is going to be a struggle, but I definitely want to give it a try.
But anyways, this is just a random Rachel ramble....love the alliteration, right? I don't get much time for writing in all of my accounting classes, so my blog is where I can get a little creative.
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